Jon 
What’s the scariest place on Earth? Prison? Shark-infested waters? Perhaps hell? All wrong. The real answer is Rantoul, Illinois. To be more specific, the Necrosis Haunted House in Rantoul, Illinois. This past weekend, I forced some of The Chambana Report’s most frightened staff members to check this establishment out.
There was a palpable tension in the car as we drove towards the house in complete darkness. Various halloween characters greeted us as we arrived at the house and waited in line. There were clowns of all shapes, zombies of all sizes, and this fellow wearing a top-hat who actually had a calming effect on me. We went in, and immediately frantically argued amongst ourselves who would be forced to go first. We were all incredibly scared, more scared than a group of college age men should ever be ever. I think I was able to push someone else in front of me like a battering ram but it is all a bit of a blur.
I won’t describe the insides in too much detail because I do not wish to spoil the experiences for our dear readers. However, I will say that the haunted house is incredibly well put together. Every inch of the place is decorated in a wide range of Halloween themes, complete with lights, sounds, and various special effects. I think there must have been 30 or so scare actors disguised amongst the maze-like interior. They are incredibly effective and feasted off of my fear. They got me good. I screamed a lot. At some point I began repeating “I’m not scared of you” very loudly as a coping mechanism. The entire experience felt like 30 minutes but realistically couldn’t have been much longer than 10. I got my $25 worth and so much more.
Afterwards I located Sprinkles, a dog-human hybrid creature, and he told me all about how he ended up selling ice cream outside of Necrosis Haunted House, “About a decade ago, me and my owner, the guy who owned the ice cream shop, we lived in this town but y’know shit happened and me and him got molded together…Now I gotta keep the family business running. ” I noticed he had a wedding ring on his finger and asked if he was married, curious about what a lifelong union would look like for someone who rested on the outskirts of known society. “My owner was married but now we share,” he proudly explained. Afterwards, Sprinkles repeatedly told me that he was neutered and I decided to wrap up the interview then and there.
Moral of the story, check Necrosis Haunted House out! It is so fun and so worth it! 5 Stars from Jon.
CLICK HERE FOR THE NECROSIS HAUNTED HOUSE WEBSITE
Jaxon's Desk Drawer | Issue 4