Jon 
There are certain moments in life that bloom into your memory like a rose and thrash you with their barbs when you try to forget about them. For me, that moment was watching Darci Lynne receive the Golden Buzzer on America’s Got Talent when I was 12 years old. She did a singing ventriloquist act and, as her voice rose and fell with the notes, I fell deeply in love with her. I proceeded to watch all of her clips on the AGT YouTube channel along with several performances on her personal channel and various ragtag fan pages. I needed her. How could someone so beautiful also be blessed with the ability to talk and sing with her mouth closed? It was incredible—perhaps too incredible to be true.
The year is now 2025. Seasons have changed, the moon has risen and fallen, and yet, somewhere in the dark gardens of my mind, a beam of sunlight still illuminates her memory. In passing interest I wondered if she still performs. She does, but more importantly… SHE’S MARRIED?
This landmine has caused me to recently spark an investigation into her and the entire sport of ventriloquism. And from what I can tell, it’s all fake. It is time we lift the wool from our eyes.
First of all, we all know that talking comes out of your mouth. So how does it come out if your mouth is closed? Secondly, I noticed that the “puppet” does have a moving mouth. Interesting. One would reason then, that it is not the ventriloquist making the noises but the “puppet” itself. Ventriloquism is entirely fake! It is actually the puppet making the noise. I think the puppet is like a little animal or maybe a rascal of some sort? That is very misleading of Darci.
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Drafty's Desk Drawer | Issue 1